Your relationship has been too stressful, too traumatic – and it’s a relief that you’re finally letting go. After the long arguments, the many contretemps, and all the minor squabbles, you and your partner have decided that it’s time for a break-up. This is when you both realize that the catchy lyric from the popular Neil Sedaka song in 1962 is true: indeed, Breaking Up Is Hard To Do. 
 
There are many ways to do it. On a good note, this may include enjoying one last day together, discussing it positively in privacy, or healthily talking it out with your counsel. But what if the break-up you’ve desired isn’t as smooth as you’ll want it to be? After all, you’ve invested too much in the relationship – may it be the huge financial sum on the business, a property you never shared (but they took,, anyway) or the custody of your children. These cases are as messy and chaotic as they sound, but if you truly want to have a clean slate post-separation, here are a list of things you have to constantly remind yourself not to do. 
● Do not break up during an argument 
 
As the common saying goes, never make decisions when you’re angry. It might already be the ninth argument of the day, but it’s best to not break up with your partner when both of your emotions are heightened. Chances are, the anger is going to make matters worse and the both of you will never be able to resolve anything, let alone dwell on whether it’s a decision you actually want to make. 
 
● Do not publicize on social media 
 
It is perfectly understandable to want to post a post-relationship quote on your Instagram feed, or a #finallyfree selfie on your Facebook wall. Be reminded, however, to still maintain a level of privacy for your relationship even at its final stages. This also signifies respect to your ex. Publicizing on social media might provoke your partner (and even their family members), so it’s best to keep silent. 
 
● Do not defame 
 
Similar to the idea of not publicizing your break-up and the roller coaster story behind it, remind yourself to always keep it cool even after separation. If things didn’t really end well and you sense that your partner can easily get triggered as you are regarding matters about each other, stay silent. Your fresh, hostile feelings might push you into defaming your ex in front of your friends, which has potential legal trouble written all over it afterwards. 
 
● Do not harass 
 
This matter is clear as day, but it’s still on the list. It is very important to highlight that if you are the receiving end of the break-up, do not harass your partner. Of course, you’re hurt. The love of your life decided to end things with you. But harassments are not necessarily limited to physical assaults, or verbal slander. These also cover behaviours of stalking and leaving empty threats. Remind yourself of your civil boundaries, and avoid actions that are translatable to criminal offenses. 
 
Ending a relationship isn’t easy. It also needs joint effort and compromise from you and your partner. What’s essential is that both of you are honest and open about what happened and what needs to be solved, without anyone resorting to actions that do not only add salt to the wounds, but bring with them judicial trouble as well.● Do not defame 
 
Similar to the idea of not publicizing your break-up and the roller coaster story behind it, remind yourself to always keep it cool even after separation. If things didn’t really end well and you sense that your partner can easily get triggered as you are regarding matters about each other, stay silent. Your fresh, hostile feelings might push you into defaming your ex in front of your friends, which has potential legal trouble written all over it afterwards. 
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